Saturday, September 5, 2009

AW Journal September 1st

Was just woken up from a sound sleep to the sound of banging at my door. Seemed like forever before it stopped. I have a policy, there's nobody worth speaking to before 1:00 in the afternoon. So I'm going back to bed.

Damn door! Some imbecile is banging at my door again! And I was just starting to doze off. Why don't they know that I'm trying to sleep? I know that my loyal activities of my order haven't yet been tracked to me... I never forget to wear my full uniform, mask & all. I will outlast them... I must outlast them. The lesson to never bother me before I'm well rested will never sink in if I give in now!

BASTARDS! They haven't stopped since my last entry! Banging over & over.... Making me nuts! What could they possibly want, that's so important, that I'm not allowed to get the sleep that I need? I'd peek out my window, but can't. This is the first time that I've regretted covering my windows with masking tape.

Got sick of trying to sleep with all that noise. Relocated into into the cellar to deaden the noise. I will not be defeated! Unfortunately, this may be a short lived plan if I can't stomach the stink down here. Been throwing my depends down here for months now. Don't want anybody finding them in the trash. Secrecy is my greatest weapon. Don't want to be sloppy. But can I sleep down here with several months worth of due diligence? I'm going to try it anyway. I don't care what my stomach is trying to tell me.

Just came out of the bathroom. I just lost the entirety of last nights dinner all over the sink, myself, toilet & floor, & simultaneously filled my depends. I'm better now, thought I could take it, guess not. But now I have a new hazing technique to use on the recruits, & the knocking stopped. I guess I should count my blessings, thank God this all happened!

Just checked the door to find out if there was still someone there. There wasn't. All I found was a note from mother. I got half way through it before I started beating my cat. Poor Gonzo, he'll never learn. I'll have to read the rest later after I calm down. Kind of funny though, I'm not sure that I remember the first half. Something about the gravy train over, stop sending recruits for supper, moving very far away, something to that effect. There was a woman walking down the street with her kids while I was outside looking for the source of my grief. She grabbed the children by the shoulders & scurried away while passing my house. Must have been the ski mask, vomit & dirty depends. I'll never be discovered. Not even outside my own house. My cape was in the wash. Good thing too. If I was wearing it she may have recognized me from the other night. She looks like the one who caught me cat tootsie rolling her exhaust pipe up the street from here. It never would have happened that way if I wasn't screaming from the burns from that hot exhaust pipe. She got out of the car & caught me on the spot. Maybe she tracked me here... Maybe I left a trail of tootsie rolls & cat litter as I was flailing my arms around, screaming. I'll be more careful next time.

Just got off the phone with Norman. He's thrilled with the mask that I picked up for him. Loves the flame job. He & I are going out tonight with a couple recruits & 100 bucks worth of pennies. We're going to syncronize our watches, divy up the pennies, & spread out to different stores. At exactly 8:00, we're all going to hit the registers & bring this town down to a crawl!

I'll enter more later. I've got to find Gonzo & see to breakfast.


  1. Nice blog and great pictures. A good reading site for people with more time to read. I like it, kind of funny.

  2. Thanks for the comments everyone. I'm glad you enjoy these things!

  3. Is that your photo on your blog,just joking, nice journal entry