Saturday, September 12, 2009

AW Journal September 10th

This is my most recent entry since my previous entry. Just got out of bed. Ears are still ringing from last nights catastrophe. I've never seen anything like it. I suppose I'll document last nights events later on after breakfast. I should have my whits about me by then.

Breakfast went without a hitch. Me & Gonzo had peanut butter & bologna English muffins. Ran out of relish, but mustard was a handy substitute. Didn't dare use the toaster for the English muffins since last weeks episode, still missing hair over that one. Best to let sleeping dogs lye.

Last night me, Harry, & 3 new recruits went out to do our nightly terrorist acts to bring down the establishment. We were still jacked up from the rally, probably why we didn't think things through. Harry came up with a great idea that would aid in the whole tear down the establishment till we are the establishment thing. This is the first time I had gone out at night with Harry, I quickly saw the genius in his plan. It went as follows...

We load up with supplies. Cherry bombs, WD-40, a lighter, used cat litter armed with cat tootsie rolls, paper bags, a whistle, & Harry's get away car, a Ford Pinto.

The Idea was to find the most vulnerable house on a side street, one of us, Chaz recruit 1, instead of banging on the door, would carefully place & ignite a cherry bomb on the door step. (We didn't want anyone getting hurt by banging on the door & running away in the dark. There's tons of stuff to trip over... Things of that nature. We felt this is the best substitute to get our victim's attention.)
As soon as the bomb went off, with Chaz now safe & out of the way, Bill recruit 2, would blow the whistle.
I would use my make shift WD-40 & lighter flame thrower to ignite the paper bag now loaded with a lethal combination of cat tootsie rolls & used cat litter.
Harry would throw it into position.
Dean recruit 3, in the drivers seat, waiting for us to jump into the Pinto, & would take us safely away. Just far enough to be able to watch the fruits of our labor blossom into civil mayhem, someone stomping out the fire & making a mess all over their shoe & doorstep! GENIUS!

Everything was going according to plan. Dean parked the car along the curb, parallel to the house we had chosen. The bag had been filled at my house. Gonzo was pissed, but he'll have to take one for the team. Three of us got out of the car in full uniform as usual. Nothing more, nothing less. Chaz made it to the door lit the wick, placed it in front of the door & took some steps to run away, but became entranced by the beauty of the wick's light. I had no idea about this, as I was concentrating on my part of this plan. We had discussed that timing was everything. So I stood at ready with can & lighter in hand, staring at the bag in Harry's hand waiting for the explosion.
The cherry bomb touching off in the middle of the night sent a boom that echoed throughout the neighborhood! It was magnificent! But it scared the crap out of all of us. Chaz screamed & took off into the woods. You could hear him falling over branches & running into trees. I panicked! I ignited the lighter & squeezed the trigger on the can setting the paper bag ablaze, thus taking Harry out of shock from the bang. He hesitated a moment , held the bag back to launch it over the car & toward the door, but the bag, now burning, burst! Flaming embers hit Harry's rear end, lighting his full set of depends, blasting into an inferno! With Harry shouting running around with his ass on fire, Dean panicked & took off with the car, Bill ran around in circles following Harry, blowing the whistle like a complete idiot! I took off into the night, fearing the attention that the light from Harry's issue was creating, & the whistle.
Haven't called anyone yet to see if everyone was ok. Harry must be sore... The shaft of fire that shot from his diaper melted the fibers on my mask. Not a big deal, there's about 12 more in the basement where I keep all of my supplies.
So that's why I'm a bit sluggish today.
Just got off the phone with Harry. Poor bastard! I won't get into details, but he could have figured a better place to hide his cherry bombs! Probably won't see him at any of the rallys for a few weeks.

I'll make a new entry later on. Need to put a new layer of tape over my windows after I watch Oprah. Till next time!

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